Radio Kon: The Lost Edition
by anaime7
Summary: Our favourite radio once again goes on air... Except there's no Kon this time. Just our two favourite Shinigamis complaining about the person who made them. The root to the problem? UST. Crack, ish.


_**I received a FLAME for this FIC!!!!! If you're interested to see what I've written in reply, check my profile. :) Flame is annoymous, but has okay grammar. =( I won't delete it, take your time... =D**_

_Warning: Insane crack. I wrote this on a whim. _

_Disclaimer: Hahahaha… I don't own it, but Kubo Tite wouldn't be too happy with this anyways!_

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**Radio Kon: The Lost Edition**

_**By: anaime**_

"Hey fans out there! Ichigo and I are so glad we have time to talk to you guys and that Evil Kubo Tite has let us out of his clutches for a few moments. We tricked him into thinking that we were going to get him his coffee, so he let us out of Hueco Mundo for the moment. But instead, we're hooking up to Radio Kon and talking about some issues we found, hmm, _unsatisfactory,_ in the manga lately. Right Ichigo?"

"Rukia, can we please just get to the-!" Ichigo's sentence was conveniently stopped when Rukia pushed his head into the table beneath them.

"Haha! Yes, Ichigo was just about to complain about the temperature in Hueco Mundo. It's really, really hot up there. Kubo didn't cut any slack with the stuff we were supposed to wear, either."

Ichigo cradled his broken nose in his hand, "Why you little-! I'll make sure you complain about the heat in this room right now, you-!" and he was stopped again Rukia delivered a fist into his stomach.

"And yes! Ichigo wants to talk about how unfair it was when Kubo made another dome above the 'effin sky we were under, so when he was fighting, I couldn't even see him! And I thought that Kubo finally had the guts to kill off his main character. But then, this guy comes down all depressed and perfectly fine! And, and-" Rukia flushes a deep scarlet before twisting a protesting Ichigo's ear, "He was wearing practically nothing! Nothing! Scraps of clothes that covered only one _leg_… And he was up there, and Orihime was up there _with_ him…" Ichigo's ear has now turned an unearthly purple.

"Rukia… ugh… let go!"

"Fine, stupid strawberry!" Rukia released his ear with a _snap_, "You know, you are just so unbelievable! I was lying somewhere, almost dying when you had the nerve to almost die yourself trying so rescue me! What sort of main character does that, huh? You don't abandon a mission just because the other main character had three holes in her chest! Besides, I was doing fine, thank you very much!"

"Oh yeah? Then how what you think I felt when I looked over your panels that said that you actually said you would die for some freak that could change faces?! Huh? Huh? Did you think I enjoyed doing that? And besides, nothing happened up there above the dome! Nothing! Go look at the panels! Stop beating my ass about it!"

"Yeah! Well, I did sneak a look. You almost died, idiot! And, and I cannot believe you actually turned into a hollow when Orihime cried for help! That's, that's just…. Do you know how the fans would think? Lemme tell you what they think! They thought that you went through hell for her just because she cried for help!"

"Well, it's not my fault my baser instincts are to protect! And it's not my fault they got the translations wrong in every other language! I didn't even know it was her calling out for me! Besides, I didn't go through hell for_ her_, I went through hell for _you_, you loud vertically-challenged bunny-fanatical midget!" Ichigo's face was a beet red, rather from yelling or because Rukia had just clamped a hand around his mouth, a little too late and a little too forcefully, we will never know.

"Shut up, you insensitive berry-head! You don't say that in public When Kubo was firm on closing your trap about that crap!"

Ichigo has now wrestled his head our of Rukia's grip, "Well, Kubo's not here! 'Sides, You know I'm really desperate. And you promised, you demon prick! So make good on your promise!"

"I-" Rukia flushed a deep red and hissed with all the indignity she could muster, "Not here, you moron, there's kids watching!"

"Not to my knowledge there aren't! This stupid thing is rated T. That means only teens are allowed in here if they know what's good for them! A heavy make-out session with a little petting is good for them!"

"Well, Kubo will kill you if he finds out! What do we do when we get back without his coffee?"

"His favourite shop is twenty minutes away, and we could just say it spilled when you tried to harass me with those sharp kneecaps of yours!"

"W-well," Rukia stumbled for words, "That promise was made only because Kubo made me say it! It wasn't like I had any ideas when I told you the reunion's later! That was merely you own perverted, what are you doing, Ichigo! I said no, n-! Mnff!"

Ichigo had already grabbed Rukia's silken strands and pushed her mouth to his. A groan escaped his throat. "Rukia," He broke for air, "I didn't see you for maybe a hundred freaking chapters, so just," Ichigo made a hickey above Rukia's collarbone, "Shut," He nipped the skin on Rukia's neck, "Up," Ichigo licked his way to Rukia's mouth, "For once!"

Rukia made a few weak struggles to push him off of her when Ichigo engaged her in a fierce lip-lock once again, but in the end, it was just flailing limbs trying to grasp his hair and the nape of his neck at the same time. They broke for air, huffing and gasping. Rukia's hands immediately dove for Ichigo's T-shirts. She was trying to rip it apart, since her legs had around settled comfortably around Ichigo's waist.

"Umm, Rukia… You can't just! Kubo will find out! This fanfiction is only rated T, anyways! No, Rukia, don't rip it!"

Rukia glared up at Ichigo with twin fabrics in her hands that were casually flung across the room. She raised an eyebrow and dove for Ichigo's mouth with a growl.

It was Kubo's fault, anyways. UST never ended well for either parties involved.

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_Hugs crack. I love to read it, and I love to write it. Clinically insane, but can't you sense the radiating UST (Unresolved Sexual Tension for those for do not know this abbreviation) between Rukia and Ichigo? I figured they should have some fun with a break. I did not mean the Kubo bashing. That was just their ideas. Blame 'em._

_Also, I don't think they went all out. Ichigo's frightened of Kubo. Oh well… Our poor main character. As usual, spot the mistakes and you get an e-candy!_

_-love, anaime _


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